Monthly Archives: February 2011

Backhand Willie

Seems the whole interflanks is a-bustle over Christ!’s recent trips down Poetry Lane. Well, muvverfuckers, Our Hero hates missing out on roadtrips. With that in mind, here’s a piece I call… Backhand Willie Filthcrust wino of mild years and pungent … Continue reading

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Posted in Gospels, Our Hero, Poop-Related | 1 Comment

Recipe 917 “Berry-Rice”

So very many people loved the adventures of Cluntqi. And our comment-message-board-0f-doom was simply overrun with various tuners-in questioning, “But, Christ! how do I get keen* on berry-rice!?!” Of course we’d all love to be keen* now and again, and … Continue reading

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Cluntqi: A Post Modern Adventure. (excerpt from “Pilot”)

<CLUNTQI STEPPED THROUGH THE PILES OF FISTULA(TED) GLOBULE,  TOUGH GUY AND BATTERED DREAM. IT WAS DIM LIGHT. THERE WERE NO ONES. PLACES TO BE AND MOMENTS TO FOREVER-SLEEP. CLUNTQI HAD JUST GOTTEN KEEN ON SOME BERRY-RICE. THIS WAS THE HOUR, … Continue reading

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Our Hero’s MRI Adventure

This one’s gonna be quick, Pouch Pals, and there’s a good reason why: Something in me is fucked up, and like those kids on that Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? game show, I’m working on solving the … Continue reading

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Toes Poem:

    Ten little bastions of torment, show me where the suck. Show me the juice-worm catastrophe division. If there is nougat, then nuke it. Pour explosion fluff cream over my devil-pink skin. Then I wiggle, giggle, shit so brittle, … Continue reading

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The Continuing Adventures of Farm Fresh, the Country Wonder!

Come on an’ gather y’selves ’bout the fire, my fingerling potato-babies! It’s time to hear another captivatin’ tale concernin’ that one and only apple-domed sonuvagun, Farm Fresh, the Country Wonder! For ’twas yence and again that yon sly and joyful … Continue reading

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Things You Shouldn’t Say/Shout Out on a Valentine’s Day Date #50

-Diamonds aren’t forever; murder is forever. -I thought we’d do dinner and a show. Luckily, this six year old boy I kidnapped from the local daycare should easily provide both. -Of course I got you chocolates for Valentine’s Day. However, in … Continue reading

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