Things You Shouldn’t Say/Shout Out on Line at the DMV #73

I have been drinking bourbon all day instead of water.

These shoe bombs make my feet really sweaty.

If I don’t pass the driving test this time?  Switchblade.  If I do pass the driving test this time?  Switchblade.

Man, I wonder if it is going to be hard to drive on all the acid I took.

What do you mean this isn’t the abortion clinic!?  I need to get this thing OUT OF ME!

Is Ebola contagious?  I forgot to ask the doctor.  Anyway, just don’t touch the blood coming out of me and you should be fine.

Just because I’m a serial rapist doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to operate a vehicle.

Okay, now, it wouldn’t really be drunk driving because I was bombed out on ether, not alcohol.

Straight razor, straight razor, catch me a catch, slice me a face, match me a match…

-Our Hero

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This entry was posted in Gospels, Our Hero, Things You Shouldn't Say. Bookmark the permalink.

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