Monthly Archives: November 2010

Things I Hate #44

Artificial watermelon flavor. For reals. Let’s be clear here: watermelons are awesome.  Juicy, just a hint of sweetness, some tang when you get toward the rind…watermelons beat thirty two flavors of wholesale ass.  It’s all in the subtlety, the nuance, … Continue reading

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Posted in Gospels, Our Hero, Poop-Related, Things I Hate | 2 Comments

Grampa the pimp?

So, my grampa used to have some swagger, some of that “smooth-stepping.” He came from an age where you could look at a broad, tell her how ugly she looked that day, tell her to make you some lunch, and still … Continue reading

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Posted in Christ!, Gospels | 2 Comments

Thanksgiving: how it all got started.

When we were young, our elementary school teachers told us about Thanksgiving. We were curious. How did it start? Why is there turkey? How come gravy tastes so good? Our educators did what they could, but it’s just so hard … Continue reading

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Posted in Christ!, Gospels | 1 Comment

I Have an Idea

McDonald’s food always gives me diarrhea.  This is a law of reality just like gravity is.  And I know I’m not alone in this experience.  Plenty of people can barely finish one of their greasy, moist confections before their bowels … Continue reading

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Love Poem to No one (anyone)

I’m so sick of waiting, I’m so sick of watching you crawl around open window. Tell me:               Do you like these curtains? Do you like the slow undress; breathing heavy while i rest? … Continue reading

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I Drew This

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Posted in Gospels, I Drew This, Our Hero | 2 Comments

Things You Shouldn’t Say/Shout Out on Line at the DMV #73

I have been drinking bourbon all day instead of water. These shoe bombs make my feet really sweaty. If I don’t pass the driving test this time?  Switchblade.  If I do pass the driving test this time?  Switchblade. Man, I … Continue reading

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