Monthly Archives: September 2010

Pre-Order Today: The STUFF-Box!

You people fucking wanted it. And now, here it is: FRONT REAR NATURAL HABITAT ————————————————————————————— You heard the word biscuit heads. Pre-Order today and STORE. YOUR. SHIT. -Christ!

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Posted in Christ!, Gospels | 2 Comments

An Open Apology to Chris “Christ!” Sumner

Dear Christ!, I’m writing you this letter on the Marsupial Jones site because I want the whole interbutts to know how sorry I am.  Also, this will possibly give me a legal foothold in a pending custody case…but that’s not … Continue reading

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Posted in Gospels, Our Hero, Poop-Related | 3 Comments

Recipe #19: Swedish Disaster Bowl

Have you ever eaten a plate of spaghetti and thought to yourself, you know, this just needs something? I do it all the time. Welcome to my kitchen, Pouch Pals. Today, I’m not even giving a list of starting ingredients, … Continue reading

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Posted in Christ!, Gospels, Recipes | 3 Comments

Things I Hate #6

Nowadays, everyone is hot on pirates.  You know, there’s those movies, and probably some other movies.  Kids like to dress up as them for Halloween, and adults like to dress up as them for Sexoween.  To put it in the … Continue reading

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Posted in Gospels, Our Hero, Things I Hate | 2 Comments

Things You Shouldn’t Say/Shout Out During Sex #18

-Use the buttermilk.  No, more buttermilk.  No, more buttermilk. -You’re very pretty…but I can make you prettier with this cheese grater. -I’m thinking about dinosaurs. -Look, I’m beginning to think it was irresponsible of me to leave my three year … Continue reading

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Posted in Gospels, Our Hero, Things You Shouldn't Say | 4 Comments

Ways I’ve described my poops to Our Hero:

-a hamburger exploded into mustard water -a triceratops covered in clay -a spicy crockpot of warm biscuit dough -the three fists of satan spinning gloriously toward my damnation -a mocha depth charge filled with electric jellyfish (see also: “The King’s … Continue reading

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Posted in Christ!, Gospels, Poop-Related | 3 Comments

Ted’s Sister’s Lullaby

Serial killers can feel too, you dummies! Here’s proof!

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Posted in Audio/Video, Christ!, Gospels | 3 Comments